The twisted minds of two of the six writers of “Scary Movie” tackle the biggest mega-blockbusters of all time in “Epic Movie.” The story centers on four not-so-young orphans: one raised by a curator at the Louvre (where an albino assassin lurks), another a refugee from Mexican “libre” wrestling, the third a recent victim of snakes on her plane, and the fourth a “normal” resident of a mutant “X”-community. The hapless quartet visits a chocolate factory, where they stumble into an enchanted wardrobe that transports them to the land of Gnarnia (with a “G”). There they meet a flamboyant pirate captain and earnest students of wizardry - and join forces with, among others, a wise-but-horny lion to defeat the evil White Bitch of Gnarnia.
1: get over it. 2: Master Blaster 3: Nuts! 4: Over the Hedge 2 5: Ring Leader 6: Shell Shocked 7: Taking back the neighborhood… One snack at a time.
Plot Summary:
Traveling raccoon con artist, RJ (Willis), arrives in a woods outside a human city in the Midwest, excited about the wonders that living near humans can bring hungry animals. What he finds, however, is an Amish-like community that is deathly afraid of humans, after their leader, Vern the tortoise (Shandling), has an encounter with human boys that terrifies him. Encouraged by RJ, however, the animals slowly venture over the hedge that separates them from the brand new suburban development that appeared over the winter while they were sleeping, and what RJ shows them is a whole new world where humans leave tin cans full of fish and other food in big canisters, ripe for the taking. As they get closer and closer to humans, however, their comfortable lives in the woods appears to be threatened…
1: Earth has a deadline 2: The core of the earth has stopped spinning[Belgian poster] 3: The only way out is in 4: This Spring, Mankind’s Greatest Threat Is Earth Itself.
Plot Summary:
For reasons unknown, the earth’s inner core has stopped rotating, causing the planet’s electromagnetic field to rapidly deteriorate. Instantly, life around the globe begins to change dramatically. In Boston, 32 people with pacemakers, all within a 10-block radius, suddenly drop dead. In San Francisco, the Golden Gate Bridge collapses, sending hundreds of people plunging to their deaths. In London’s Trafalgar Square, flocks of pigeons lose their ability to navigate, flying into panicked crowds, slamming into windshields and causing drivers to lose control of their cars. And in Rome, as thousands of tourists watch helplessly, an electrical superstorm reduces the ancient Roman Colosseum to rubble. Scrambling to resolve the crisis, government and military officials call upon geophysicist Dr. Josh Keyes and a team of the world’s most gifted scientists to travel into the earth’s core in a subterranean craft piloted by “terranauts” Major Rebecca “Beck” Childs and Commander Robert Iverson. Their mission: Detonate a nuclear device that will reactivate the core and save the world from sure destruction.
1: This Is Gonna Hurt 2: What Can Two Men Do Against A Gang Of Crooked Cops? Whatever It Takes.
Plot Summary:
Orin Boyd (Seagal) is a Detroit cop who doesn’t follow rules. After he saved the Vice President by violating every order he received he is transferred to one of the worst precincts in the city. There he quickly encounters some corrupt cops selling heroin to drug dealers. The problem is, it’s very difficult to tell who is the bad guy and who you can trust.
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