The twisted minds of two of the six writers of “Scary Movie” tackle the biggest mega-blockbusters of all time in “Epic Movie.” The story centers on four not-so-young orphans: one raised by a curator at the Louvre (where an albino assassin lurks), another a refugee from Mexican “libre” wrestling, the third a recent victim of snakes on her plane, and the fourth a “normal” resident of a mutant “X”-community. The hapless quartet visits a chocolate factory, where they stumble into an enchanted wardrobe that transports them to the land of Gnarnia (with a “G”). There they meet a flamboyant pirate captain and earnest students of wizardry - and join forces with, among others, a wise-but-horny lion to defeat the evil White Bitch of Gnarnia.
Irreverent as ever, Larry The Cable Guy plays a big city health inspector who’s happy with his usual beat of greasy spoon diners and low-rent ethnic restaurants. His easygoing life is turned upside-down when he’s saddled with a straight-arrow rookie partner (Iris Bahr) and assigned the biggest case of his career: investigating an outbreak of mysterious food poisonings at the city’s swankiest restaurants. Infuriating restaurateurs with his bad manners, Larry still manages to charm a sweet, shy waitress (Megyn Price) into a budding romance. But when his unorthodox methods cost him his job, Larry has to go undercover to bring the conspirators to justice and ‘Git-R-Done!’
Roddy is a decidedly upper-crust “society mouse” who lives the life of a beloved pet in a posh Kensington flat. When a sewer rat named Sid comes spewing out of the sink and decides he’s hit the jackpot, Roddy schemes to rid himself of the pest by luring him into the “whirlpool.” Sid may be an ignorant slob, but he’s no fool, so it is Roddy who winds up being flushed away into the bustling sewer world of Ratropolis. There Roddy meets Rita, an enterprising scavenger who works the sewers in her faithful boat, the Jammy Dodger. Roddy immediately wants out, or rather, up; Rita wants to be paid for her trouble; and, speaking of trouble, the villainous Toad—who royally despises all rodents equally, making no distinction between mice and rats—wants them iced … literally. The Toad dispatches his two hapless hench-rats, Spike and Whitey, to get the job done. When they fail, the Toad has no choice but to send to France for his cousin—that dreaded mercenary, Le Frog.
1: New game. Different pieces. 2: Oh, yes. There will be blood. 3: We Dare You Again…
Plot Summary:
When detective Eric Matthews (Donnie Wahlberg) is called to a crime scene of a victim of Jigsaw (Tobin Bell), he finds a lead to the place where he is hidden. Once there, he realizes that Jigsaw trapped his son Daniel Matthews (Erik Knudsen) with three women and four men in a shelter, and they are inhaling a lethal nerve gas. If they do not use an antidote within two hours, they will die. Eric follows with increasing desperation the death of each member of the group in monitors, while trying to convince Jigsaw to release his son.
1: Based on a true story - sort of… 2: Heads You Live… Tails You Die. 3: I Am a Bounty Hunter
Plot Summary:
The daughter of an actor with a high-society woman, Domino Harvey, bored with her life, decides to join the team of Ed Mosley and becomes a bounty hunter. But she gets in trouble when the Mafia’s money is stolen from an armored truck, while Mosley and his crew are in action participating of a reality show produced by Mark Heiss. The situation becomes out of control when the sons of a rival mobster are kidnapped while FBI is monitoring the two gangs of mobsters.
1: Hide Your Bridesmaids. 2: Life’s a Party. Crash It. 3: On July 15th, they’re coming to your wedding…with or without invitations. 4: They’re just a couple of guys who just wanna have fun.
Plot Summary:
Divorce mediators John Beckwith and Jeremy Grey are business partners and lifelong friends who share one truly unique springtime hobby—crashing weddings! Whatever the ethnicity of the wedding party—Jewish, Italian, Irish, Chinese, Hindu—the charismatic and charming duo always have clever back stories for inquisitive guests and inevitably become the hit of every reception, where they strictly adhere to their proven rules of wedding crashing to meet and pick up women aroused by the very thought of marriage. At the tail end of another successful season of toasting brides and grooms, Jeremy learns that the daughter of Treasury Secretary William Cleary and his wife, Kathleen, is getting married in what is sure to be the Washington D.C. social event of the year. After infiltrating the lavish affair, John and Jeremy quickly set their sights on two bridesmaids, Claire and Gloria Cleary. With the lavish reception in full swing, Jeremy works his game plan to perfection in seducing Gloria, but John’s flirtation banter with Claire is unexpectedly impeded by her pompous, Ivy League boyfriend Sack. Having uncharacteristically fallen hard and fast for Claire, John convinces a resistant Jeremy to bend the crashing rules and accept an invitation to an extended weekend party at the Cleary family compound. Once at the palatial waterfront estate, John and Jeremy endure a multitude of comical mishaps at the hands of the dysfunctional members of the Cleary family, but also learn a few unexpected lessons about love and relationships.
1: Angel Mercer wants to know who killed his mother. 2: Bobby Mercer is not the kind of man who asks twice 3: Jack Mercer will do violence to get justice. 4: Jerimiah Mercer will take the law into his own hands. 5: They came home to bury mom… and her killer
Plot Summary:
In Detroit, when the beloved citizen Evelyn Mercer is murdered in a store heist, her four dangerous stepsons come to her funeral. Bobby Mercer, Angel Mercer and Jack Mercer join the regenerated ex-union leader Jeremiah Mercer, and they decide to investigate the murder. They disclose that her execution was intentional, and resolve to find the criminals by themselves.
1: A bond forged by fire is never broken. 2: Everything they know. All that they love. Is what they risk every day. 3: The fire starts this fall. 4: Their greatest challenge lies in rescuing one of their own
Plot Summary:
Under the watchful eye of his mentor Captain Mike Kennedy (Travolta), probationary firefighter Jack Morrison (Phoenix) matures into a seasoned veteran at a Baltimore fire station. Jack has reached a crossroads, however, as the sacrifices he’s made have put him in harm’s way innumerable times and significantly impacted his relationship with his wife and kids. Responding to the worst blaze in his career, he becomes trapped inside a 20-story building. And as he reflects on his life, now Assistant Chief Kennedy frantically coordinates the effort to save him.
1: For the most cautious man on Earth, life is about to get interesting.
Plot Summary:
Can a risk-averse insurance salesman on the rebound from his bride’s infidelity (during their honeymoon) find happiness with a waitress he knew in junior high who’s averse to commitment? Reuben is a sweet klutz who’s ready to settle down but sees in her a chance to recover from disappointment and have some fun; Polly is a sweet itinerant, not ready to settle down but sees a chance to spend time with a nice guy who likes her. What will he do when his bride comes crawling back? What will Polly do, when he runs the numbers and thinks she’s a good risk? Sub-plots involve his self-centered pal, who’s a has-been actor, and an assignment to assess the insurability of a balls-out Aussie.
