The twisted minds of two of the six writers of “Scary Movie” tackle the biggest mega-blockbusters of all time in “Epic Movie.” The story centers on four not-so-young orphans: one raised by a curator at the Louvre (where an albino assassin lurks), another a refugee from Mexican “libre” wrestling, the third a recent victim of snakes on her plane, and the fourth a “normal” resident of a mutant “X”-community. The hapless quartet visits a chocolate factory, where they stumble into an enchanted wardrobe that transports them to the land of Gnarnia (with a “G”). There they meet a flamboyant pirate captain and earnest students of wizardry - and join forces with, among others, a wise-but-horny lion to defeat the evil White Bitch of Gnarnia.
1: Airline food ain’t what you gotta worry about. 2: At 30,000 feet, snakes aren’t the deadliest thing on this plane. 3: On August 18th Summer Really Begins 4: Sit back. Relax. Enjoy the fright.
Plot Summary:
When Sean Jones witnesses a murder, he is asked to fly from Hawaii to Los Angeles to testify against the notorious gangster Eddie Kim. However, Kim has paid an assassin to release a crate-full of deadly snakes loose when the plane is 30,000 feet in the air. Only FBI agent Neville Flynn can protect Sean and rally the passengers together in hope of landing in L.A. alive.
After an overly ambitious businessman transports an 80-foot python to the United States, the beast escapes and starts to leave behind a trail of human victims. An FBI agent and a snake specialist come up with a plot to combat the creature by pitting it against a bioengineered, 70-foot boa constrictor. It’s two great snakes that snake great together!
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