The twisted minds of two of the six writers of “Scary Movie” tackle the biggest mega-blockbusters of all time in “Epic Movie.” The story centers on four not-so-young orphans: one raised by a curator at the Louvre (where an albino assassin lurks), another a refugee from Mexican “libre” wrestling, the third a recent victim of snakes on her plane, and the fourth a “normal” resident of a mutant “X”-community. The hapless quartet visits a chocolate factory, where they stumble into an enchanted wardrobe that transports them to the land of Gnarnia (with a “G”). There they meet a flamboyant pirate captain and earnest students of wizardry - and join forces with, among others, a wise-but-horny lion to defeat the evil White Bitch of Gnarnia.
When rivalry between the world’s best men’s figure skaters - sex addicted, improvisational Chazz Michael Michaels and germophobic, precise Jimmy MacElroy - breaks into a fight on the awards platform, they’re banned from the event for life. Three years later, desire for a gold medal and a careful reading of the rules lead them to compete as skating’s first male-male pair. Can they overcome mutual dislike, limited time to prepare, their coach’s secret past, and the dirty tricks of their main opponents, the Van Waldenberg siblings? The key to victory or defeat may lie in the attraction of the virginal Jimmy toward Katie, the Van Waldenbergs’ little sister.
1: In this family, attitude doesn’t skip a generation. 2: Mother. Daughter. Grandmother. In this family, attitude doesn’t skip a generation. 3: Some families buckle under pressure…others bloom. 4: Sometimes you have to lose your way to find your family.
Plot Summary:
Rebellious teenager Rachel (Lohan) screams, swears, drinks and is-in a word-uncontrollable. With her latest car crash, Rachel has broken the final rule in mom Lily’s (Golden Globe winner Huffman) San Francisco home. With nowhere else to take the impulsive and rambunctious girl, Lily hauls her daughter to the one place she swore she’d never return…her own mother’s Idaho farm. Matriarch Georgia (two-time Oscar® winner Fonda) is not your typical sweet and doting grandmother. She lives her life by a number of unbreakable rules, demanding anyone who shares her home do the same-God comes first and hard work comes a very close second. Now saddled with raising the young woman, it will require each patient breath she takes to understand Rachel’s fury. But as Rachel succumbs to her summer of misery and shakes up the tiny Mormon town, Georgia notices something is changing within her granddaughter. Given structure and responsibilities, Rachel is letting her guard down and learning compassion…especially for her mother. Her journey will lead all three women to revelations of buried family secrets and an understanding that-regardless what happens-the ties that bind can never be broken.
1: Everything He loves Is About To Be Used Against Him. 2: Nothing Is More Dangerous Than A Man With Everything To Lose. 3: They will make him steal, but he will make them pay 4: They’re Already Inside
Plot Summary:
With his family held for ransom, the head security executive for a global bank is commanded to loot his own business for millions in order to ensure his wife and children’s safety. He then faces the demanding task of thwarting the kidnapper’s grand scheme, which makes him look guilty of embezzlement.
1: Everything He loves Is About To Be Used Against Him. 2: Nothing Is More Dangerous Than A Man With Everything To Lose. 3: They will make him steal, but he will make them pay 4: They’re Already Inside
Plot Summary:
With his family held for ransom, the head security executive for a global bank is commanded to loot his own business for millions in order to ensure his wife and children’s safety. He then faces the demanding task of thwarting the kidnapper’s grand scheme, which makes him look guilty of embezzlement.
Irreverent as ever, Larry The Cable Guy plays a big city health inspector who’s happy with his usual beat of greasy spoon diners and low-rent ethnic restaurants. His easygoing life is turned upside-down when he’s saddled with a straight-arrow rookie partner (Iris Bahr) and assigned the biggest case of his career: investigating an outbreak of mysterious food poisonings at the city’s swankiest restaurants. Infuriating restaurateurs with his bad manners, Larry still manages to charm a sweet, shy waitress (Megyn Price) into a budding romance. But when his unorthodox methods cost him his job, Larry has to go undercover to bring the conspirators to justice and ‘Git-R-Done!’
1: Enjoy your stay. 2: Not so silent anymore 3: Once you enter Silent Hill there is no turning back. 4: The game is on. 5: The Silence Will Be Broken 6: We’ve been expecting you. 7: Welcome to Hell 8: Welcome to Silent Hill
Plot Summary:
After the continuous sleep walking episodes of Sharon, the young daughter of Rose Da Silva, the decision is made to take Sharon to the place only mentioned in her restless dreams- Silent Hill. However, the road to Silent Hill is anything but easy to access, and Rose creates a high speed chase between herself and a police officer only to end in a crash for them both. When she wakes up, Sharon has disappeared and Rose is at the entrance to the deserted, dream-like town of Silent Hill. As Rose begins the search for her daughter, she does not realize the terror and mystery surrounding her. Rose is led on a blind search for her beloved daughter, finding herself getting more and more entwined into disturbing past of Silent Hill.
1: Feed the fear. 2: From the people that brought you 2004’s Dawn of the Dead 3: Horror Has a New Face 4: Slug it out. 5: What’s Gotten Into You?
Plot Summary:
In this blend of the B movie classic The Blob (1958) and some Romero’s zombies film, a meteorite collides in a small town. Grant finds it, and is infected by a parasite worm, which installs in his brain and causes him a creepy transformation into a monster. Starla, his wife, and Bill, a policeman, will try to stop him and the plague of worms generated by the creature.
