The twisted minds of two of the six writers of “Scary Movie” tackle the biggest mega-blockbusters of all time in “Epic Movie.” The story centers on four not-so-young orphans: one raised by a curator at the Louvre (where an albino assassin lurks), another a refugee from Mexican “libre” wrestling, the third a recent victim of snakes on her plane, and the fourth a “normal” resident of a mutant “X”-community. The hapless quartet visits a chocolate factory, where they stumble into an enchanted wardrobe that transports them to the land of Gnarnia (with a “G”). There they meet a flamboyant pirate captain and earnest students of wizardry - and join forces with, among others, a wise-but-horny lion to defeat the evil White Bitch of Gnarnia.
Strange events are occurring in New York City, and the Turtles are needed more than ever, but Raphael, Donatello, and Michelangelo have become lost and directionless. With the city at stake, it’s up to Leonardo and Zen Master Splinter to restore unity and ninja discipline to the Turtles.
1: Everything He loves Is About To Be Used Against Him. 2: Nothing Is More Dangerous Than A Man With Everything To Lose. 3: They will make him steal, but he will make them pay 4: They’re Already Inside
Plot Summary:
With his family held for ransom, the head security executive for a global bank is commanded to loot his own business for millions in order to ensure his wife and children’s safety. He then faces the demanding task of thwarting the kidnapper’s grand scheme, which makes him look guilty of embezzlement.
1: Everything He loves Is About To Be Used Against Him. 2: Nothing Is More Dangerous Than A Man With Everything To Lose. 3: They will make him steal, but he will make them pay 4: They’re Already Inside
Plot Summary:
With his family held for ransom, the head security executive for a global bank is commanded to loot his own business for millions in order to ensure his wife and children’s safety. He then faces the demanding task of thwarting the kidnapper’s grand scheme, which makes him look guilty of embezzlement.
1: If he can’t save us… then someone else will have to. 2: Things are about to get hairy. 3: When the world needed heroes we got these guys.
Plot Summary:
Legend tells of three magic diamonds that, if in the wrong hands, can be united to create a force powerful enough to freeze the sun. When the evil sorcerer Zeebad escapes from his ancient prison, he vows to exact revenge by deep-freezing the earth forever. Determined to save the world, a fellowship of four unlikely heroes band together to foil Zeebad’s villainous plot. Led by the candy-loving mutt Doogal, friends Dylan, Brian, and Ermintrude all embark on an epic adventure to save the world. In order to find the diamonds before Zeebad, they must climb icy mountains, navigate fiery pits of molten lava, sail across vast oceans and pass through a booby-trapped temple guarded by an army of ninja skeleton warriors. Along the way they learn that the most powerful weapon is their friendship - which even Zeebad’s evil magic cannot destroy.
1: Alone they are unbeatable… Together they are invincible 2: Killer looks are nothing without the right moves… 3: They have the looks… That KILL 4: They’re the ultimate fighters. They’ve got the looks. They’ve got the moves, and the men fall at their feet. 5: Wanna Play? 6: You’re Invited.
Plot Summary:
A number of fighters are invited to DOA, an invitational martial arts contest. They travel to the tournament island by plane, until they have to jump out mid-flight with parachutes, and then have until sundown to reach the main island to be entered into the tournament. Fighters are then pooled against one another in a knock-out style tournament, with the loser of a battle sent home, and the winner progressing to the subsequent round. The plot revolves around four female fighters who begin as rivals, but subsequently find themselves teaming up against another force.
A maturing Anakin Skywalker goes to the dark side of The Force and becomes Sith Lord Darth Vader. We experience the transformation in a dark, scary yet thrilling climax. The story here logically sets up the events of Episode IV, the original 1977 Star Wars movie in which Darth Vader goes to war against his own children, Luke and Leia.
1: Before she can find peace she will wage war. 2: Born to fight. Trained to kill. 3: Looks can kill. 4: She was left for dead. Now she’s back with vengeance. 5: She’s the last thing that stands between good and evil.
Plot Summary:
Jennifer Garner returns as Elektra, a lethal synthesis of grace and power with the mystical power known as Kimagure: a limited ability to see the future. She has purposefully severed all ties with the world and lives only for her next assignment. Elektra’s latest job forces her to make a decision that can take her life in a whole new direction or destroy her.
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